It's my turn

I love my child. I love them both. But I'm ready for something easy. Because the truth is, everything has been hard lately. It's hard for my back to catch a break when my kid demands to be held. It's hard to wake up when my eyes are closed. It's hard to sleep. It's hard not to yell, or cry, or just not care out of a feeling of just being overwhelmed. It's hard to not shower all day, having been thrown up on at least once every other hour, draw a bath, get in, only to have your baby cry 7 minutes later. It's hard to feel so isolated and disconnected from friends. It's hard to not snap at my husband. It's hard to pick between napping and cleaning something, anything, in this place I call a home. It's hard to nurse all day long. It's hard to see my husband go out as much as he wants and I'm limited in what I do for a myriad of reasons. It's hard to not be on a predictable schedule. It's hard to be creative with meals. It's hard to get my infant to sleep in the evening. It's hard to not neglect my 2.5 year old. It's hard to hear crying, again, from anyone. It's hard to figure out my work situation before my maternity leave is over. It's hard to figure out childcare. MY. LIFE. IS. HARD. So I'm ready for something easy. Please no cliches here. I know your life is hard too. I know we all struggle with a variety of obstacles, battles, whatever. I guess I'm just writing out my prayer tonight, because I'm tired. I'm emotional. And I want to be done with hard stuff. At least for a little bit.