How's that for a title: Sometime I Wish I Were Amish. It's true though. The Amish have it right: simplicity. The word I'm trying to live by this year: simplicity. Except that I just broke that new years resolution by introducing my kid to a bottle. Simplicity? Yeah, that's thrown out the window.
I've been on the job hunt with the intention of going back to work so Patrick can work on his school stuff now. We're switching roles, and I feel really good about it. So, I've been trying to get ready to go back. Yesterday we went to Babies 'R Us, and walked down the bottle aisle. No, more like bottle section. Have you
seen all the choices in bottles?! It's totally unreal. The two of us looked dumbfounded. "Uhhh, I dunno...what do you think?" ::Patrick's eyes were huge, and he remained motionless:: I swear it was a scene out of a cartoon. Patrick and I just stand there looking up to the top of the display, but it just keeps growing...like Alice in Wonderland...or Jack's Beanstalk...something crazy like that. TONS of bottles! I shook myself up a little and said, "Oh yeah, I'm going to get Tommee Tippy bottles." (Great name right?) I'd seen a friend of mine with those and liked the shape-very breast-like-but later I will learn they're not at all the same. Plastic and human that is. I'm going to skip our conversation because we literally stood there for more than 5 minutes trying to figure out which nipples to buy (they have different flows!), what size bottle, etc. etc. We ended up with two overwhelmed parents and four different Tommy Tippees in our cart. Whatever, I'm glad that's over.
Then we went to the diaper section. Now
this I've got down. My kid has worn just about any diaper well. What we buy is really a matter of preference (mine and Patrick's) and cost. Well, score! There's a sale! We find some
good AND cheap diapers. Load up the cart and head to the check out. I just remember that two couples we know are expecting so we make a quick stop to get some cards. I found a really funny one...
Sometimes it really feels like that. Baby is upset and you don't know why. I've had 4 months now to get to know this little guy, and I think for the most part I know what he needs. I've definitely had these moments though. And D has never even had colic. Lord bless the parents that have babies with bad colic.
Where was I? Oh yeah. So we get the cards, check out and breathe a huge sigh of relief as we load up the car.
Skip ahead to today. I think to myself, "I'm gonna try these cute new bottles." So I pump, dump it in cute little Tommee Tippee and try to feed D. He looks at me like, SWEET! A NEW TOY! And proceeds to chew the nipple. I watched him almost in a panic. I mean, I do NOT want to encourage that behavior!!! But at least he's okay with it...but then he actually got hungry...and this bottle was not ok with him. "Get the toy out of my face, Mom, and give me the real stuff"-is what his wailing said to me. See how the card above is a baby with mostly mouth? That was D all the way. It killed me. I almost started crying myself. So I give him to Patrick, because he loves Patrick. Maybe Daddy has the magic touch.
Nope. Not this time.
I caved after probably like 5 minutes. I KNOW! It's terrible. But when your child is crying because you're withholding something from him-something that you could easily give to him, and worked very hard to get right (worked hard for 3 months I might add!)-and that something is basically you...it feels like an eternity. I felt like I was abusing my child. Neglecting him. Being a terrible mother. I know it's not rational, but that's how I felt. I caved.
He was exhausted from crying (he doesn't cry very much, I think he wasn't used to this) and then eating like the world is coming to an end, and D fell asleep right away.
Two hours later I attempted again. Patrick actually tried to feed him and I stayed in the other room. He didn't cry quite as much, but still didn't take the bottle very well. I lasted like 13 minutes this time...then I tried feeding him from the bottle. He WAILED. He smelled my weakness. I gave in again.
I felt like such a failure. How could I go back to work? How could I leave him with anyone for more than two hours during the day? Waaaaaaaaah! It was my turn to cry.
Then I posted something on Facebook about the bottle thing and got a shlew of responses. Most of them were of the, "went through that same thing myself" nature. That got me thinking: why do we expect so much of little kids? I mean, really. Just consider for a moment the things we expect our babies to do-and do without struggling I might add:
-Sleep with lots of noise going on all around them
-Eat on a schedule
-Nap on a schedule
-Stay quiet
-Drink from a plastic contraption, instead of mother nature's cup
Now tell me: when was the last time you slept through the vacuum? I sometimes wake up when there's a loud bird outside. Forget the vacuum! But we expect kids to sleep through loud noise.
What about eating on a schedule? When was the last time you said to yourself, "Self, I'm so hungry, but I can't eat for another couple hours because I'm on a schedule" ? ERRRRN, WRONG! Ok, if you've done that, you must be superhuman.
Sleeping on a schedule? I think there are few adults that can say they've sleep through the night, every single night, period. We all have insomnia once in a while. We all go to bed late because we want to hang out with friends or whatever. And you know what? I'll be bold enough to say that I'm not pleasant when I wake up. I'm just not.
Staying quiet. I have friends in their 20s...30s...even 50 year olds that don't know the "appropriate time" to be quiet. So you expect a child, who doesn't fully comprehend language, and is figuring out their own voice to not use it? HA! So what do we do? We plug up their noise maker. Stick a pacifier in it. Done and done.
Why? Why do we do these things? Doesn't it seem a little silly? Sometimes these things are handy, they're convenient for us adults certainly. But convenience aside, why do we put our kids through this stuff? It seems kind of silly, don't you think?
And that's when I wish I was Amish. Things are so much simpler. Almost like back to the way nature was designed. But then I wouldn't have this computer to write this post now would I? ;)
