We've become a pretty casual society. Formal dress is not really common place (have you ever tried finding a formal dress?!), people are often late to...well, anything (guilty as charged), and we take advice from bloggers. I realize the irony in that sentence :) After reading a blog that someone posted on Facebook today, I question exactly what I read now and how it influences my parenting specifically.
This blog that I read was about not yelling at your kids. No doubt something many parents have struggled with, and it really seemed like great advice. There was even some scripture referenced toward the bottom. But one point didn't sit right with me. It read, "Don't be a repeater. Say something once and then punish the child if they don't immediately respond." It seems harmless, except that I've read research about how children at this age can hear the exact same sentence spoken 3 times and take away a different kind of comprehension each time. The study was quoted in The Tipping Point and was actually done for Sesame Street. (You didn't know Sesame Street used research to guide their show did you?!). The study found that when something is repeated 3 times (3 being the magic number), a young child more fully comprehends by the 3rd time, and takes away different aspects of the comprehension each time. Adults however, don't have this same comprehension. (Duh, that's why we all hate watching Blues Clues repeat...wait...repeat...wait...and repeat again. Or how about Telletubbies!?! No more again, again!)
I'm a little bit hippy when it comes to parenting. I choose medicine last and natural remedies first; I'm still breastfeeding at 13 months; I generally like to give my 1 year a short age-appropriate explanation of why I asked him to do XYZ because I think it's important he understand the why; I don't like to give him much sugar or salt, I let him determine the sleep schedule his body needs, and (I know you were wondering perspective on this hot topic) he's on an alternative shot schedule. I think there is definitely more extreme than me, but I'm not necessarily a "traditional" parenting style type. But the thing is, Patrick and I have both done a lot of research into some of these key issues. Then we weigh in anecdotal evidence from our own child (because why would I compare him with another kid who is so much different?). The very last little thing we consider is what other people have to say. You know, the Facebookers, the friends at church with kids the same age, the grandparents, and on occasion, a blogger who has some interesting insight. But not solely based on one of those things, and certainly not a blogger alone.
I think we owe it to our kids, and ourselves frankly, to start making better judgment calls based on more reliable sources. And sometimes that source is our mommy or daddy gut. If you have a 43 hour unmedicated labor because you want the best for your baby, don't let others tell you you're crazy. If you are okay with waking up twice a night with your 2 year old because they take 2 naps a day religiously, don't let another person tell you you have to let them cry it out. If you give your child a bath in the morning instead of before bed, be empowered by knowing he/she is invigorated by baths and doesn't get sleepy, despite what others say. If you choose the shot schedule, an alternative schedule, or no schedule-go with your educated reason. But don't just take someone's word for it because they know how to type and hit "publish." And please don't take my word for it-do a little homework and figure out what's best for you and your family. In the end, those are the people directly affected by your decisions anyway, and everyone else has the very same choice.
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