You know you're 9 months pregnant when...

1. You're ready to meet your baby (and really ready to have your body back).
2. You keep looking at your pedicure from months ago and think to yourself, "If only I could reach to redo my polish, clip my toenails, etc."
3. You feel anxious/claustrophobic in your own body from time to time.
4. One armpit smells to high heaven no matter how much deodorant you put on. And yes, just the one.
5. Everyone you see says, "You're so little," or "That's it?" or "I thought you'd be bigger by now" but after you roll out of bed in the morning (not so gracefully might I add) your husband says, "Woah, you are PREGNANT!"
6. You're so used to the baby movements that you don't know what people are referring to when they look down and say, "WOAH! It's like the movie Alien!"
7. You cry when a mobster on Burn Notice is left by his friends after he went back for one of them. The man (hypothetical tv character) who killed many many others somehow deserves your tears when he decides on a whim to be loyal to his friend and is betrayed...and your husband tries very hard to stifle his laughter.
8. 4 more weeks is too long to wait.
9. You hit your belly on the edge of a restaurant table...every stinkin' time.

10. You don't understand why you're falling asleep like an old man-in the middle of the day, on a couch, sitting up, laying down, on the floor-ANY place is a good place to sleep.
11. If you hear one more person tell you you're crazy for not wanting an epidural, you might deck them. (I think you're crazy for not supporting me in my decision! Ha! Take that!)
12. There's nothing that makes you more happy than seeing your husband interact with your moving belly. Even if he does say, "Baby! This is your father speaking" every single time :)
13. You have to wear your husband's clothes to bed, and even those are getting a little tight.
14. The baby room, hospital bag, clothes, closet etc. are all put in place and readily await the new family member.
15. You've already tested out the Moby wrap you just bought for a killer deal on Craigslist...with a stuffed animal...and so did your husband :)
16. You're quite cautious about who you let speak into your life about parenting.
17. You can't imagine how you could love any little being so much already, even though you've not really met yet.
18. Your ankles have seen better days
19. Your back has given its two week notice... 6 weeks ago.
and
20. You absolutely cannot wait to embark upon this new adventure, be it joyous, be it challenging, be it life-changing, be it all of the above and more.